Is There Hope for Black on Black Love?

Hey Brown Girls! Many of us have envisioned or envision ourselves married and in love with a man that we can identify on so many levels, especially a man that looks like us. Why is it that many black and brown women desire black men? Obviously, the melanin, features, the strength of a black man, his touch, his look, smell, and the confidence he possesses. Most black men are hard working men and carry the masculinity in so many ways that other male dominant races could never exemplify. The overall make-up of a black man is sexy and appealing. The blessing about being married to a black man is being able to share relatable experiences, creating a legacy of generational black excellence, and providing support to one another as you grow and go through the ebbs and flows that life and this society has put in the atmosphere making it challenging in a society created by us; yet a society who tries to isolate us from many opportunities in the land of the “free”.  In 2023, there were about 5.18 million Black married-couple families living in the United States. This is an increase from 1990, when there were 3.57 million Black married-couple families in the U.S.(statista.com, 2025). So why isn’t this information celebrated? Why is it that we have allowed media to discourage us from having faith that we will indeed meet a black man who we can do life with? Well….let me share a little something with your brown girl! First and foremost, there are brothas out there that love and celebrate and are interested in marrying a black woman. Secondly, there are several successful black marriages that aren’t advertised, but I can personally attest that having a black man who I have been doing life with for 12 years total and 10 years married in October is a blessing. Please understand that no matter the nationality you’re going to encounter the ebbs and flows, trials and tribulations, wins and losses in a marriage. The key to a happy marriage is keeping God in the center of your marriage, communication, growing, and being aligned. I also believe black love is sustainable from having people in your conner who are going to encourage you to nurture your marriage, and to pour into yourself and your spouse. Circle of influence can make or break a union if you’re not strong enough to weed out those who aren’t led by God to celebrate and hold you accountable in your marriage. Keep hope alive if your desire is to be with a black man. Last, pray and don’t allow society to discourage you because your black king is out there waiting for you queen!